Friday, February 5, 2021

Carry Out My Wayward Son

 If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know that I like to try new things - not only exploring places I've never been but also applying my creativity in ways that I haven't before. Prior to the pandemic, one of the last concerts my wife and I saw was Weird Al Yankovic, who I've been listening to since I was a kid. Being a punster, his clever mock lyrics always appealed to me. So, with plenty of time for writing in 2020, I decided to try my hand at some spoof lyrics. The result is below - I hope it gives you at least a chuckle. If you decide to perform it, please let me know and share the results if you like.

Carry Out My Wayward Son

Carry out my wayward son,
Wash your hands when you are done,
Lay your gloves and mask to rest,
Don't go out no more.

The store I go to used to have toilet paper
Shelves are bare except for brussels sprouts and capers
I found a single roll of Charmin, but it wasn’t two ply.
My bank account was flush with stimulus money
I went online for a box of Oats and Honey
My Amazon and Etsy orders, they will ship next day

Carry out my wayward son,
Wash your hands when you are done,
Lay your gloves and mask to rest,
Don't go out no more.

Like my neighbors I’m a hermit and a miser,
Got a year supply of hand sanitizer
I do my best to social distance, but I find it hard
Dr. Fauci says we need to heed the warning
I walk my dog eleven times every morning
I think her paws are getting tired, but she won’t sit and stay

Carry out my wayward son,
Wash your hands when you are done,
Lay your gloves and mask to rest,
Don't come in the store.

Carry out
Six feet back, that’s an order
Carry-out
Don’t be some kind of hoarder
If I get bored of watching Tiger King, well
There’s always Animal Crossing…

Carry out my wayward son,
Wash your hands when you are done,
Lay your gloves and mask to rest,
Don't go out no more.